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I wanna stay sane.

Those words ran through my brain and I thought, well, besides being true, it's also a happily odd way to start a journal - quite fitting I may say.

Oh, in other words, I'm tired, a tid bit sleepy, and have consumed way too many ounces of suger in various ways (chocolate, soda, chips... oh my). So I'm really just babling ^^

But I figured that I want to start on Fatamorgana soon - and that I want to move to Copenhagen, NOW!
I need something new to happen.

I've changed my course, though, so I'm going back and retaking the subjects from three months ago. Well, not exactly, cause since I've already taken them I'm allowed to do - almost - whatever I want. And I really want, no, need to do something else. I'm drowning here...
Hopefully I'll be able to create my own website and use a lot of time on the design, which is something I've been missing tremendously over the last months. In short I guess I'm just school tired (is that even a word in English?).

So, yeah, trying something new, dodging hither and there to avoid just giving up on it. Hopefully I'll get the drive and joy of it back with this little break. I really hope I do.

But I can't help but dream of what I would want to do next - it's so typical of me, always jumping on to the next thing instead of taking the fight and finish things.
But I want to start on Fatamorgana - a photography school in Copenhagen ^^ I've read a lot of testimonials on it's website and he, the owner and main teacher, sounds like a person I'll respect. One of those who has a drive and wish to teach people, but who are also aware of the many intricate mysteries of life, of emotions and what makes a picture more than just coloured pixels.

It sounds like a blast! ^^

Oh, and then I want to move to the BIG city. I really want to move now, this instant! I've been thinking about moving to CPH for some time - my dear old friend Frejdie lives there with her husband (darn, that makes us all sound old *G*) and she has really made me see this city in another way. I've always exclaimed that I would never live in that bustling, loud and scary city, but I think I've certainly changed my mind. Now it seems romantic and living and, more than anything, anti-lonely.

That just hid me today. I'm friggin lonely in my appartment!

You know, I've been talking about bying a house out in Hareskoven (as if I'd ever be able to actually buy a house - on SU?!), a little cute house with 'bindingsværk' and 'stråtag'. But you know what? I would just end up sitting there in the big forest staring at the wall without a clue of what went wrong. No thank you, I'd rather find a silly little appartment that costs way too much and then be able to be among living people.
I really miss Frejdie.
Although she always makes me feel inferior (well, maybe because I am?) she also always sparks that flame in me that wants to be better, to keep breathing and dreaming and hoping to live ^^ So, it's bitter sweet sometimes, but I don't think she knows. (She's so lovely naive.)

But yes, I want to move - to get out of my messy appartment that no one ever visits me in anyway, and go jump on a new adventure!
Argh, I don't know if I can last one more year at my school. I have to - and that is exactly why it's so tough.